Destroying their ego is so much fun

[Mister Paul]

It was a beautiful machine. A blue F-type coupe. Private plate, but it looked brand new. I rolled up alongside it at the lights. Rule 1 is don't let them know you've even acknowledged them. So without moving my head, out of the corner of my eye I watched him sidle up a little further, as close to the line as he can thus reducing any advantage I might have, announcing that he was going to show this little plastic twist-and-go how much of a man he was.

We sat, watching the lights. The 4-way sequence takes a while, but I've learned it. Before us is about 100m of 2-lane, followed by a filter into one. The Jag burbled away.

Amber. He floors it. I do the full twist. For about 10m I'm quicker, but he's catching me. The car is burbling and popping as he comes alongside, desperate to see me cry as he vanishes into the distance. 30mph shows, and I drop off the throttle. He's in front of me but only just, so I settle behind. Like me, he's not one for blasting over the limit, so he sits there, unable to do anything about the little black SH300 in his mirror.

The next roundabout. Negotiated properly, as soon as he gets off it he floors it again, only to 30 where he settles again. But he's not been able to shake me off. So he suffers the little scoot behind, on his offside, threateningly in an overtaking position.

The third roundabout leads onto an NSL single carriageway. Not wide enough for cars to overtake without going into the oncoming lane, but plenty of room for a 2-wheeler to do so. In rush hour most cars stay or pull over to the left to let bikes past. Mr Jag floors it again, but still can't break the elastic that's holding us together. All the time, that lovely pop and burble of the 3 litre supercharged v6 and performance exhaust. I resume my position to his offside and behind, filling his door mirror. He's stuck behind a van doing about 50-55, so when the opportunity comes and I'm sure he's not going to try a silly overtake I roll the throttle back a little and slowly slide past him. I can't resist giving him a friendly wave.

My job's done, and I have no intention of doing anything dangerous so I settle down to 60mph. The road widens to two lanes out of town and I can see him itching to get a point back. Don't they just hate it when they pass you, a nonchalant geeky commuter with a tall screen and Termoscud pretending that they've forgotten about them? He passes me and makes his way to the motorway junction, getting there before me. He decides to take the wrong lane for his exit (as I found out when the lights changed) to get as near to the front as possible. But he's still got two cars in front of him so I coast up to the front, passing him on his left. I don't want him thinking that this is an angry man-show, so I stop, turn, point at his car and give him an approving thumbs up. His head doesn't move. Staring resolutely ahead. Can't show any sign of defeat. All of his hard-earned ego gone. Diluted away by a bearded, bald, middle-aged man on a moped. £66,000, beaten by a scoot costing Just over £4k. All within the legal limits.

I love this scooter.

[rayb]

Why did this spring to mind?

[rjc1944]

Absolutely ace. I also love the way twist-and-go with 300cc beats most sports bikes for the first few yards away from the lights. Maybe not on paper but I ride on tarmac and it works there!

[kishan]

love it haha

[horobags]

love it

[Scootypuff snr]

I enjoyed that read. A satisfying moment in life

[Greyerbeard]

And the size-of-a-block-of-flats Range Rover that pulled out to overtake me when leaving a 30 limit yesterday, because I'd been holding it up by only doing an indicated 35.
Next time I looked in the mirrors, it was half a mile behind.
I was on the T-Max.

[Steve_D]

I used to get the same experience (for a short while) with some sports bike riders when I was on my Burgman at the lights if I used the power button and manual change.

[Symcity]

I know where mister paul is coming from here - most drivers take umbrage to being embarrassed by a humble scooter - I’ve had said cagers fulfil dodgy manoeuvres after being embarrassed by the humble scooter - erratic braking/swerving around me etc etc - I now tend to let such wankers move away from the traffic lights first

[Whatsisname]

I have a favourite spot on the "gyratory system" near me. It's effectively a big rectangular roundabout, with a dozen or more houses in the middle of it. There's a set of lights on the first corner, and fifteen yards away, the second corner. Get on the inside lane, and nobody beats you. Even letting them go on amber and waituing for green, you just open the throttle and hug the righthand kerb. I reckon it's the constant acceleration vs them having to change gear in the middle of a turn that leaves them all at least a couple of lengths behind on the back "straight". Small pleasures.