My friend’s brother got his wedding tackle removed by the hardware on the handlebars, the doctors said it’s a common injury.
Looks like this would have helped in a case like that.

I have an airbag vest but it doesn’t cover your dangly bits

Well, for your dangly bits' protection Bluebottle, it's an obvious solution.......... stuff yer gently-air-filled hot water bottle down yer pants.

Surely, you could have sorted that engineering problem earlier, for all of us, with your knowledge?!